On The Edge
by Just.A.Lovatic
Summary: Fresh from war, District 12 is a rather broken and barren place. Peeta and Katniss have managed to survive the impossible, but to what extent? Days grow hard and when Katniss goes for a walk to clear her head, she walks in on something she might witness in one of her nightmares. Peeta on the edge of a bridge, ready to jump. Post-Mockingjay. Everlark.


Written from a kind of darker perspective. Peeta seems a little more broken in this story then he may have turned out to be, but this is just how i saw it in my mind when i thought about everything he went through. I hope i stayed in character well enough though.

* * *

On The Edge

I breathe in the cold air. In. Out. It's definitely too cold for what I'm wearing which doesn't even cover my arms completely. I'm not sure exactly what I'm doing. Going for a walk around the barren district 12. I try to avoid the scenery or the lack there of, but something was pulling me out of the house tonight.

Ive been back home for a couple months now and its getting better. The pain that is. Its not time, no, time could never heal my wounds. It's a certain blond-haired blue-eyed baker.

He's been back for almost two months now and our paths have inevitably crossed. I need him, so whether it was fate or not, I've never been so grateful to have someone. Our relationship however, is nothing to be put into words.

His episodes have been rather extreme. I suppose he's better, but sometimes, he's not peeta. The pain he endured in the capitol is beyond anything I could imagine and the fact that he is still alive is something to be grateful for. Sometimes I can make him smile and we'll share a bed and keep the nightmares away. Other times it takes everything in him not to strangle me to death.

I take a route that leads to the bridge. The river district 12 once had has long been dried up, but recently enough water has returned as to where the building of a bridge over it was necessary.

I've had so much on my mind today. It's Prim's birthday this week and I haven't left my house is days dreading it. Shutting everyone out and refusing to participate in my life has been a rather regular routine lately, but right now, I just need to be away. Hear the rushing of the water and breathe.

The rush is incredibly strong tonight due to a recent rainstorm and I'm almost too distracted looking at the chaotic water to notice a figure on the bridge. The ledge of the bridge.

My first thought is that my mind is playing tricks or its just a coincidental shadow. Obviously no one in there right mind would stand that dangerously close to the edge of the structure with the safety of the ledge behind them.

But the shadow moves because it spot me. He spot me.

The sight is too much for me to take. My vision is suddenly blurry and I think I've forgotten how to breath.

It's Peeta.

What is he doing? I can't comprehend it. He's gonna jump. Jump where? There's no where to jump except..

"Peeta!" the word gets caught in my throat, but I manage to get it out.

"Katniss get out of here," he orders. He has no emotion and he says it as if he's bored.

My heart has stopped. I inch nearer to him desperate to pull him away and into my arms.

"What.." I don't know what to say. Will the wrong words push him off?

"Katniss, I told you to leave." he says after a moment.

"No." is all I can manage.

"Why are you here?" he asks getting angrier

"I.." I try to hold back the tears, but I can't. Peeta can't! "I needed some air" the fact I'm crying now evident in my voice.

I can feel him get angrier by the way his grips the metal pull he's holding onto behind him. The only thing keeping him from falling. "It is pretty hard to breathe here isn't it." he says simply.

I let out a sob and try to compose myself for his sake. "What are you doing?"

"What's it look like I'm doing?" still no emotion in his voice. He stays silent for a while and then he stretches his neck to get a better view of the water. "How do you think I'll die first? You think ill crack my head open on the rocks? Drown to death?"

"Stop!" I cry before he can continue.

"Why?"

"Please get down?" I beg.

"Why?" he repeats. "Because you want me too?" he gives a little laugh and shakes his head. "We all have to do what you want right? We always have to do what you want."

"Peeta don't do this." I'm a mess. I can't stop the tears because I know I'm not good at words and if I'm not good at words then how can I ever persuade him.

"Katniss, I'm tried of your bullshit. I don't need this right now?" his voice is starting to tremble. "Don't try because there is no reason for me to get down right now. There's nothing for me to live for."

"Then live for me. Please, I need you."

He laughs. "Isn't that what I've always been doing. I don't want to live for you anymore. I'm tired of it. There's nothing else!" this is hijacked Peeta talking and I know that me being here is no way helping, but I cant leave.

"This is the third time i've been up here." he says. "I guess I'm just not strong enough then, huh. I just can't jump."

"Third time?" I repeat in disbelief.

"yeah. I was here for a couple hours before I realized I was too weak and couldn't do it. I haven't had anyone come by though." He gives a laugh. "What a coincidence it's you."

"Peeta? Peeta.." I inch closer till I'm only a couple feet away. His eyes never leave the water though. "You have so much to live for. You were gonna rebuild the bakery and help district 12 build back up again. Everyone needs you." I say though the tears.

"Well maybe I don't want to be here anymore. The capitol…the things they did to me, ill never forget. They took away everything. I'm not supposed to be have lived, but I was stuck with this life of pain and I just want to stop. I wanna stop." He sobs and crouches down to his knees.

I crouch down as well. "well what about me. If you jump how am I supposed to live. You're the only thing I have left Peeta. I won't be able to go on."

"Why do you always have to make this about you! Neither of us should have lived, but here we are! Breathing when everyone we love is dead." he yells.

"Peeta. Peeta listen. I know you hate me right now. And I don't deserve anything and I certainly don't deserve you, but please listen. We can find things to live for." He lets out a painful sob. "We can work. We can spend the rest of our lives repaying everyone we did wrong. We can get through the past, but not if you do this. If you do this, then everything will have been for nothing. The world can be a better place now, the war is over. No one else has to die. We can pick up the pieces, but if you jump then the capitol wins. This is exactly what they want and if we live then they lose." I fall completely to the ground. "Don't let them win." I completely lose it and fall into a fit of crying. I cover my face and hold my head to the pavement not being able to bare to situation anymore.

I hear sounds of movement and wait for the splash, but it doesn't come. I look up.

Peeta sits a couple feet away from me crying into his knees and through the tears I reach out to him. He immediately and harshly hits my arm away from him and gets up.

I state at him walk down the road until he's out of my sight and then I continue to stare for a long time. Eventually, I stand up and peer over the ledge of the bridge and see what Peeta saw.

Deep rushing water about thirty feet below me. I turn away before I can even process the sight. Peeta must have been staring down for hours upon hours when you add up all the times he's been here.

I quickly compose myself and start off in the opposite direction peeta took knowing it will only lead me further away from my house. I don't care though because I know I wont be getting any sleep tonight anyway.


End file.
